There is something incredibly addictive about the continual refresh. It satistfies my crave for the constant wave of information and feelings of connection, yet also makes me feel increasingly needy as I want people to connect with me. There is a certain feeling of joy when seeing that little red “1” box on facebook appear, or seeing @alittlebitofgin on twitter that is hard to describe. And so it fuels my constant refresh action. It’s typically cyclical. Twitter, Facebook, Blog, Hotmail, Gmail, Blogs I stalk, cellphone, Twitter, Facebook. I think it may be a little soul destroying. I love it when people contact me, but I hate the feeling of not being contacted when they don’t. The mini depression of coming home to nothing new, of the text-less phone, the empty mailbox, the connectionless world. Usually I realise that I have done nothing to connect all day, so why should I expect connection? And then my thought train usually goes to “Gin, why on earth are you relying on other people connecting with you to make you feel happy or loved. Get a grip. Get a life. Get out.”
Which I have been attempting to do more of, well refresh only every 4th minute instead of 3rd.
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