Waiting waiting waiting

The tension of waiting for one of my best friends to die is pretty horrible. I am torn between the hope of her still being alive and the wanting her to be pain free and at peace. Its that tension, that horrible tension, for which there is no easy answer or way to cope.

I've had some beautiful experiences past few days though. I've seen a mum lovingly speak to a daughter and care unceasingly for her, no matter the toll. I've seen a husband comfort his young wife as she cares for her sister. I've seen friends in new lights. I've had generous hugs from people.

I've got so much love around me. God is near, and I find much comfort in that.