Hospice

My friend is moving to hospice today. I can't believe how quickly things have changed. 2 months ago we were laughing, trying on make up, talking about boys, careers, summer, overseas exchanges and dreams. Now its PAC pumps, blood transfusions and hospital rooms (and still a bit of chat about boys and high heels thrown in). This week keeping busy failed me and I'm grieving yet she is still here which sucks. I'm horribly aware of the short time that is left and the fact that we can't ever go back to what we had.

Despite all my training and lectures on end of life care I still feel horribly inadequate with no good words to say. This feeling of utter helplessness hurts so much. I'm such a do-er and a fixer yet there is nothing I feel I can offer. It's going to be a dark period of time.